you wont like this [you've been warned]
[17 May, 2005 typed at 2:01 p.m.]

you know what i am?
im a fucking cunt!

that's what i am, when it all comes down to it, im a cunt who will leave you in dispare, crying and with a lonely heart!!!

right now, no, i dont want to sign a lease, because i dont have the fucking money, ok...why dont i have the money
cause i havent been going to work...

why havent i been going to work, because i fuckin detest it, i cant stand the noise, the stupid fucking joke, the idiot fucking people, the dirty looks, the yelling, the cuts, the scraps the bruises, the fucking stress i get form doing 10,00 fucking jobs at once, none of which i seem to be doing right!! im sick of getting fucked around with pay cheques, im sick of spending $50 and 11 hours a week on fucking public transport!!

why arent we together right now?

because of fucking things like this, because i hate things around me (not everything, so dont go jumping the gun and start talking to me on msn saying i said i hate you, because i havent said that)
i dont know who the fuck i am, i came here on nothing.........and look what i might leave with, nothing!!

this job is the fucking cause of this, and only i could fucking see that, all of this stems from that job, and yeah im a fucking slacker, and i couldnt handle it, but fuck you all cause thats who i am, i know my own strengths ok, this job wasnt fucking one of them....

so yeah i dont talk, i get moody, because people are still fucking pushing me and i dont know what to say, i dont even know how to comfort my fucking self at the moment let alone you, but you still want me to do my best to, after all i've said, dont pressure me into telling you things you wanna here at a coffee shop ok, because thats not what i wanna say

think im a prick, think im a cunt, think im a fucking asshole for writing and expressing my OWN fucking opinion here, but right now i dont care, i really dont, i couldnt give a fuck about anything right now, not even me......

and maybe at 22 this is who im supposed to be
and none of you are gonna like it!

(now i have to go to the bank)

away + towards